Intensity	Stupidity:Nudity Ratio 7:1	Budget Medium

I nearly didn't review this one. Storywise it is nothing special and the jokes are sophomoric but the cast is something else. As I was watching it I started recognizing people. Teri Copley, of course, but Forest J. Acerkman (notorious B film maker), Angus Scrim (the Tall Man from Phantasm), Ace Mask (20 B movie credits), Monique Gabrielle (oh, please, like you don't know this scream queen), Toni Naples (Hard to Die), Deanna Lund (Land of the Giants), Brinke Stevens (a real B movie queen), Becky LeBeau (even more famous for getting naked than Monique Gabrielle but not nearly as good looking), Kellie Maroney (from Night of the Comet) and last but not least, Robert Vaughn. Jim Wynorski directs this tribute to B movies with no intention of taking things seriously. In the opening scene we see three characters chasing a Little Red Riding Hood type (Monique carrying a basket, no less). The characters are revealed to be Leatherface, Jason and Freddy Kruger. They follow Monique into a cave and after some offscreen cartoon violence noises, she emerges to declare them "Amateurs". This is a lot better than Wynorski's previous attempt at a parody of the slasher films of the time (Saturday the 14th). But still the jokes are a bit lame and unimaginative. Scary Movie would come out 10 years later, but not be much better.

On a side note, both Teri and Monique would get out of acting shortly after this movie. Both wanted to be more than just eye candy. Either of them could have had long careers as B-movie queens because of their looks and above average acting ability, but neither of them had the screen presence to really make it big. Robert Vaughn has a similar level of talent, but because there are about 30 times more roles for men in movies, he has managed a good career without ever being a star. For women, this is rarely the case. Scream Queens like Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer managed to build up a following that brings viewers to their movies, but no one is going trust them to star in a 100 million dollar movie.

Typically Wynorski directed stuff for TV and cable play. This one seems directed at TV because it has no nudity and only the word "shithead" for profanity. Definitely does not push its PG rating at all but you probably wouldn't watch it with your kids because they wouldn't remember the movies. Transylvania Twist moves along pretty well and even though it plays the "Hans" running joke a bit much it is worth watching just to see this many B movie actors in one place.

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