Intensity	Stupidity:Nudity Ratio 7:3	Budget Small

Another Vampire Stripper movie? Well it can't be all bad.

As the movie opens we are presented with four FBI agents (including our hero and his daughter) who have a serial killer cornered in a large wooded area. Amazingly they are unable to contain the killer who apparently takes out three of the four leaving only our hero alive. We follow the killer to a strip joint where he chows down on one of the girls, kills the current owner and takes over the club. Time passes during which our hero has been spending a lot of time drinking and mourning the loss of his daughter. Plagued with visions of the serial killer at work, he sinks deeper into despair until his daughter's ghost appears to him and informs him that no one else can kill the vampire. Soon he is back on the case with a new partner who turns out to be his daughter's widower. They soon track down the vampire, pick up some babes, kill the first vampire and then the second vampire and apparently return the daughter to normal.

It is a funny to be reviewing another movie made by rank amateurs so quickly after reviewing Teenage Catgirls in Heat. The only thing the films really have in common is that almost no one associated with either movie ever made another movie. Excluding James Hong and Marine Kove who has over 150 credits as of this writing. However, Catgirls was played largely for laughs and was very clearly making fun of movie cliches. Exit 38 on the other hand throws in tons of cliches and you are supposed to take them seriously. This is the movie's strength and it's weakness. Clearly the writers knew enough to include some foreshadowing; we are given important clues concerning the plot twists well in advance. For example, the character that turns out to be "not born a woman" is not only named Pat but her friend mentions all the cosmetic surgery she had. There are also attempts at character development where we find out a couple of mildly interesting background items about some of the characters. But even with all this going on, it is hard to over look the movie weaknesses.

First of all lets discuss our hero, Boyd Parker, played by Dean George in his only movie credit. But it gets better, turns out he also was the Executive Producer. This goes a long way towards explaining some of the problems. While Dean's age is not listed at IMDB, he is clearly in his 60's with a daughter that is a senior FBI agent which makes her minimum age about 35. Our hero's love interest? Why she is one of the 20 year old strippers/vampires of course. When Christina (Crystal Eden (man, I hope that is a stage name)) first lays eyes on Boyd remarks are made that indicate Christina has a thing for older guys. Perhaps you are thinking that the writers are making a sly reference to Anna Nicole Smith's marriage to a much, much older man? How generous of you! But no, this is something we are expected to take at face value. Boyd walks into a strip club and Christina immediately falls in love with him.

Lets follow the timeline of their romance,shall we? Boyd walks into the strip club in daylight, meets Christine. She offers him a lap dance which he turns down in favor of going to the bathroom. While in the bathroom he is knocked out and brought back to the motel. Meanwhile Christine is brought in to meet Mercer who turns her into a vampire. She then goes to Boyd and tries to feed on him. She apparently goes back to the club the next day and the next night has sex with Boyd. Pat is abducted and brought back to the club for sacrifice. In a heart wrenching scene just before they storm the club in the dark, the two confess their love for each other. Wait. WTF!?! Ignoring the 40 year age difference between the two, I don't think he even knows her last name. Nothing about the two says "soul mates".

It should be noted that the only time Christina acts like a vampire is when she attacks Boyd. Did having sex with Boyd cure her? If so, Marie has an unpleasant choice coming up. When Boyd and Mercer fight, Christina fights for Boyd. Seriously if I am going to confront a vampire in his lair, the last person I want covering my back is one of his newly turned thralls. But this just continues the problem with our hero. While he remains a step or two behind the plot, the movie is clearly about him. Strippers, vampires, blood sacrifices, it all revolves around Boyd. Not only is he psychic and "sees" the murders, he knows both the turned victims (one is his daughter and the other his lover), his partner is his son-in-law and the final vampire turns out to be his boss. Still don't buy it? How about this, he is shot. Twice. The first time we might be able to pass off as a flesh wound though it really looks like it gets him right in the appendix. But the second shot is smack in the middle of his chest. Does he go down for the count? Oh, not our hero. He says "Not again", lies down for a while and then walks away. Not only that, no one seems overly concerned. Personally if I were ever shot in the chest, I'd prefer my "soul mate" to be screaming "Call a fucking ambulance!" and applying some compression instead of helping me stand up.

Actually as it turns out the two master vampires only turn two victims; the daughter and the love interest, all the others are killed. Liz over at And You Call Yourself a Scientist refers to the "Hero's Death Exception" frequently. This is when something that has killed other characters in a movie does not even slow down our hero. A monster that has clearly demonstrated the ability to kill people with a ease, will strain mightily against the hero and not even knock his hat off. In this case the Hero's Death Exception has been extended to cover the daughter and the love interest. Again once the hero's entourage has been established, nothing bad happens to them. Sure, they get thrown across the room, turned in to the undead, and attacked by vampires but they get over it. The same vamp that kills the club owner with a flick of his wrist, hits Christina hard enough to send her bouncing of the wall and she doesn't even get a nose bleed.

Which brings us to James Hong. Hong is one of my all time favorite actors. He has chewed scenery in more movies and TV shows than you can imagine. 345 since 1955. He has been in Godzilla movies, scores of WWII movies, numerous Westerns, the Kung Fu TV series, Charlie's Angels, The Dukes of Hazzard, Dallas, Fantasy Island, Wayne's World II, Ku Fu Panda and How to Make Love to a Woman. He has appeared with just about everyone. It wouldn't be a challenge to play "Six Degrees of James Hong" (though oddly enough, he and Kevin Bacon have never shared screen time). Hong plays Dr. Shen, Boyd's mystical advisor (see, it always comes back to Boyd). When Boyd needs help sharpening his psychic skills, he returns to Shen who paints him with mysterious symbols, burns incense and chants over him. While he controls himself initially, later in the film Hong's more natural style (overwrought) would shine through when he goes nearly apoplectic while trying to send Boyd a message.

The movie is not too bad to watch if you don't take it too seriously. Not a bad vampire movie, but really what makes it so entertaining is Dean George's character. While Boyd may have started out as a nominal character in the original screenplay, I can't help but feel that the film's executive producer helped make some "improvements". Worth watching, but I'd recommend Teenage Catgirls in Heat over it.

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