Intensity	Stupidity:Nudity Ratio 8:1	Budget Medium

I believe I have mentioned that some strange shit comes of of Japan. Case in point, Calamari Wrestler.

As our movie opens we are watching what appears to be a championship wrestling match. Soon one wrestler pins the other and a new champion is crowned. Suddenly a giant squid snatches the belt away from the champ and another match ensues. Not surprisingly the champ's signature move does not work against the slippery cephalopod who ultimately pins our hero. While the champ wants a rematch, the organizers won't allow him to fight the titular Calamari Wrestler unless the squid agrees to throw the fight. In true Pro Wrestling fashion, the squid refuses, insisting that wrestling's integrity must be maintained. Due to public outcry the organizers eventually are forced to allow the squid to fight . The rematch is scheduled but when the champ shows up he has turned into an octopus, but still he cannot match the Calamari Wrestler. Following a montage of the squid enjoying the benefits of fame, we watch him being attacked by a giant squilla (apparently some kind of shrimp?). Eventually the squilla gets a match against the champion who changes back to human in the middle of the match and proceeds to rip the arms off the squilla who in turn returns to human form. A rather odd bit of monolog reveals that the champ and the squid are actually brothers and that the guy who was the squilla is in fact their father. Happiness ensues.

Seriously I thought that Horrors of Malformed Men was odd, but that was a walk in the park compared to this one. For starters, I had no idea that Japan had a thriving pro wrestling circuit that goes all the way back to the post war years. Twice the promoter goes off on long monologs reminiscing about how the sport had given the Japanese people hope during the dark post war years. Umm, okay, if you say so. Still the promoter is enthused that his new champion will fill the void left by the great wrestlers of the past. He is rather upset when a giant squid enters the ring and smacks down his newly crowned champion. It is important to note that credits have barely finished rolling, We barely know any of the characters when suddenly we have full clear shots of a giant squid. At that moment it dawns on us that we are about to watch a movie about a giant squid's adventures in the Japanese pro wrestling circuit. I was still somewhat slack jawed as the commentators say things like "pressure holds won't work because the squid lacks bones" and how "slippery" it would be. WTF! Has this happened before? Shouldn't someone be a little surprised that there is a giant squid in the ring? This is one of those cases when suspension of belief comes into play. We know it is a man in a squid costume but because none of the characters point out this rather obvious fact, we either play along with the premise or spend the rest of the movie going "but it's a guy in a costume". I recommend opting for the former course.

After the squid esapses from the champ's signature move, a reverse inverted full nelson, he throws the champ with a move that a couple of people in the crowd immediately recognize as belonging to a wrestler who died of cancer two years ago whom I will be referring to as the dead guy. Could it be that the giant squid is really the dead wrestler? We pretty much figure out that he is right away and are soon even presented with the mechanics of his resurrection which has something to do with ringing a bell and grimacing. After groping his girlfriend in the kitchen and then presumably having sex with her, he reverts to his human form. The priest warns him that is what comes from too much desire, which I think is a overly loose translation. Clearly the squid has a strong desire to be wrestling champ, so the desire must mean the desire for women. But this transformation method doesn't fit with the way the champ becomes an octopus nor the way that dad becomes a squilla. Dad is supposed to have been dead for 20 or 30 years, but spends most of the movie walking around in human form. So while the transformation is originally presented as a way to cheat death and disease, it apparently is also something that can be done on a whim.

The backstory reveals that the champ was always in the dead guy's shadow, sort of like Jan Ulrich who took second place in the Tour de France 5 times. Jan is an incredibly gifted bike racer who had the misfortunate of racing at the end of Induran's reign and then had Lance Amstrong come along. It must truly suck to be able to beat everyone in the world except one guy year after year. There are several flashback scenes where we see the champ and the dead guy training and fighting together, almost like brothers which they are later revealed to be. Once the secret is out that the squid and the dead guy are one and the same, the training sessions begin again and the wrestlers declare their mutual respect for each other. All of the conflicts outside the ring are resolved intelectually. The champ and the girl break up when the realize that they were together for the wrong reson. The champ and the squid re-establish their friendship after a small non-violent confrontation when they realize that they make a good team. In a Hollywood movie, these very mild, almost polite conflicts would be used to get a PG rating or to appeal to a bigger demographic. I don't know enough about Japanese film making to say if these things are cliches the film maker is making fun of, if they were thrown in to apease a producer, or if it is heartfelt sentiment.

Still this is a hugely entertaining film. These are the same costumes that might be worn in a Japanese monster movie, but instead the characters are normal size. The squilla especially moves like he is taking on Godzilla with his very stiff upper body and exaggerated boxing motions. The love story is told in a very sparse faction, but surprisingly effective. Initially we see the champ and the girl together but once the giant squid shows up and she realizes that he is the boyfriend she thought dead, that relation becomes strained. In a final confrontation, the champ states that he might have just wanted her because she once belong to the dead guy.

Watching the "making of" video I saw several of the cast mentioning how odd it was to have a giant squid as the main character. This makes me think that the scriptwriter was purposefully playing with some popular themes in odd ways. There is quick little hint at hentai with the squid and the girl in the kitchen, but no sex or nudity. There is a scene where the girl goes to a shrine and prays while pouring water over her head and her silk kimono which left me wondering a couple of things; which religion has a god that is influenced by a wet t-shirt and where can I sign up.

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