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Intensity
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Stupidity:Nudity Ratio 9:9 |
Budget Medium |
Okay, I know there is a plot here, wait a minute I think I've got it. Woah, she's naked again. Uh, where was I?
We open with a girl walking across a field. Soon, she is naked and in bed with some guy. We get a cut shot to a hand holding a wax doll and then a needle pierces the doll and we cut back to the couple and the guy has a heart attack and dies. Then the credits roll. A conversation in a car reveals that Carol (Vanessa Ashley) and some guy are on their way to her dead brother's estate to set things straight after his death. Pretty much as soon as Carol is settled in her room, she has sex with the guy while Fiona (Helga Line)peeks in through a hole in the wall. Carol has a dream where she is running around in her underwear and then has sex with her brother. Seems like a Carol has stumbled into a coven of witches that can't make up their minds if they want her to leave or stay. Carol has sex again, Georgina has sex again, The stable hand has sex with one of the witches and then watches as her husband gets killed. Some other stuff happens and then Carol wakes up in the car and it is all supposed to have been a dream.
As he is having sex with Analise, Carol's brother takes special notice of her necklace. Then he has a heart attack and dies. |
Carol's boyfriend notices the artwork on the wall. Nestled in amongst some rather detailed pieces is an amazing clumsy rendition of the necklace. |
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Oh man. This one is a mess. I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt to the director on this one and say that at least some of the blame has to fall to the translation because the plot is indecipherable. There actually is dialog in between the sex scenes, but it seems like whatever they were talking previously has nothing to do with what they are talking about now. In the first bit they are talking about getting rid of the visiting couple and then later they are talking about a ceremony with a goat, and then later about keeping Carol for a ceremony and then we think that her boyfriend may have been in on it all along. Perhaps in the original language there is some continuity but, if so, it did not make it to this version.
Carol has a dream where she is wandering around in her underwear. So far so good. |
Oh, it is her brother. |
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I don't like where this is going. |
Yikes! Carol does her brother in her dream. After she wakes up, she does not seem overly upset. In fact, she walks over to a picture of her brother and plants a big kiss on it. Needless to say, this is not mentioned again. |
This movie is simply some soft porn with a vague horror story attached to it. I have not the faintest idea of what the coven was trying to accomplish. I mean it is not like they were having sex and the normal people weren't. They killed Carol's brother, but I think Fiona was his wife, so it is not clear if they really gained anything. They killed one of the witch's husband because he was going to tell the cops about the murder. But what would he tell them? The guy died of a heart attack. There is some strange scene with a goat that was supposed to do, something. I don't remember what but it did not seem to make any difference.
Getting the goat ready for the ceremony. Do goats need a fluffler? |
The witch rather graphically describes what the goat's function here is. Let's just say it involves bodily fluids. |
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Wait, why are they pricking her finger? |
Are you kidding me? After all that talk about bodily fluids (both human and goat) you only get a couple of drops of blood? So, what exactly was the goat's role in all of this? |
So, obviously the key to the movie is the sex. In this type of movie if the sex is interesting enough, then the fact that the plot doesn't make any sense doesn't matter. Unfortunately, the sex in this one is hit and miss. Vanessa Ashley who plays Carol is really good looking and Helga Line's Fiona is amazing for her age. The girl who plays Analise is okay, but the rest are a little scary. This is not one of those movies populated by gorgeous women that would only date rock stars and football heroes. We get to see some rather ordinary-looking people naked and it is not always pretty. I'll be honest here, if I am going to look at naked people, I'd rather they be attractive. The director does not necessarily share my feelings on this. One of the woman that has two sex scenes is, well, unattractive. Clearly in her late forty's and plump, she certainly does not fit the average American definition of sexy. And yet there she is on the screen having some very enthusiastic (simulated) sex. She doesn't look embarrassed and the director is not shying away from showing her body. If you've seen any of Jess Franco's later work, you know what I am talking about here. There are a few possible explanations for this. It could be that she was the best the director could afford. It is possible that the director was showing her power as a witch to make men desire her. But most likely I suspect that the director (like Franco) just does not equate sex appeal with beauty. We tend to view the two as synonymous but in truth that is not always the case. So while some of the women in this film do nothing for me, the director seems to have a different opinion.
Fiona. Not exactly a spring chicken. |
Peeking in on Carol and her boyfriend/ |
And on the sacrificial table that Carol would occupy later for nearly the same "ceremony". |
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Carol. |
These two are barely in the room two minutes and Carol is taking off her clothes. |
Two minutes after that and one minute after telling her boyfriend she is "not in the mood". I love the boots. |
One thing that I've noticed in certain English and European movies is that often the occult is portrayed with plausible deniability. There will be witches and dark masses and sacrifices, but in the end nothing actually happens because of them. In this movie it is implied that the brother died of a heart attack after we see a voodoo doll get punctured with a needle. Seems like a pretty direct connection until later Fiona is in the greenhouse discussing herbs and casually dismisses the Foxglove as "harmless". Foxglove. Where have I heard that name before? Oh, yeah, now I remember. It's fucking poison. It's the plant that the heart medication digitalis was developed from. Fiona's manner seems to suggest that she used it on Carol's brother. I think that slipping someone some Foxglove is a much more reliable way of doing them in than sticking pins in a doll. Carol has some bouts of dizziness and stomach pains which we are somewhat lead to believe are the result of witchcraft, but Fiona is practically forcing her "special" teas down Carol's throat. Again, the tea seems a more likely cause of Carol's discomfort than the result of one of the witches having sex with a goat. It strikes me as being similar to the Hayes Code in America. Throughout the 40's and 50's "Evil" could not win out in the end. The bad guy had to die or go to jail. There is a strong feeling in "Black Candles" that the witches are not real and not really controlling anything by supernatural means. Obviously there are lots of movies where the supernatural is portrayed as real, but movies like "Wickerman", "Virgin Witch" and even "The Flesh and Blood Show" all suggest the supernatural and then explain it away. I think this is less a constraint placed upon the movie makers by outside sources and more a personal choice by the writers. Ironically one of the few things that atheists and Christians would agree on is that witches don't have any power.
In the car at the start of the movie. Annoyingly enough, the movie will end with a nearly identical setting. |
Oh look a VooDoo doll. Used once, never referenced again. |
This? Oh just some Digitalis purpurea, commonly called Foxglove. It's harmless. |
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Carol visits her brother's grave which has a really old weathered headstone. Geez, when did this guy die? 1882? |
You know how public speaking experts like to tell you to picture your audience naked because it makes them see less scary? |
It is actually pretty scary. |
I can't say that I truly enjoyed the movie. As much as I liked seeing Vanessa Ashley naked, my enjoyment was diminished by the complete lack of coherence to the plot. It is not like I need a detailed intricate plot when watching a movie, especially when the movie features a lot of naked women, but still I'd like the director to have had an idea of what he was going to do before he started filming. This one feels like he got some actors together and then shot whatever the hell he felt like. So on one hand, I admire the guy because he got paid for a indulging in his fantasies. But on the other hand, I would like a little bit of story to hang all the naked bodies on.
I compare and contrast this movie with Bikini Chain Gang here.
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