Intensity	Stupidity:Nudity Ratio 9:9	Budget Small

A WIP film with nearly as many porn stars as Caged Heat? Sign me up!

The credits roll over some shots of various prisons and then the film cuts to it's first sex scene. Shortly after this, we are introduced to Jessie who really needs her waitress job. Needless to say she has an asshole boss who hits on her and takes it personally when she knees him in the groin. When the bar is held up, Jessie is framed as an accomplice and immediately sentenced to prison. The warden quickly develops a soft spot for Jessie and lets her have sex with her boyfriend, in his office, on his desk. Jessie is then sent to her cell where she meets her cell mate, Taffy, who after a quick discussions asks if she wants to have sex, however, as Taffy does not have the nightstick, Jessie declines. After Jessie goes to sleep, another inmate and a guard enter the room and spirit Taffy off for some three way action. The next morning the girls head out to the rock pile. Doffing their minimal prison outfits for more comfortable bikinis, they are soon making little rocks out of big rocks. After giving the girls a detailed description of the abandoned farmhouse down the way, Matron Togar, has sex in the van. The girls don't realize that this is a frame up and take the bait and head over the hill. They find a guy with a broken SUV and while two of the girls attempt to fix the vehicle, the other two have sex with him in the back. Unfortunately after the car is fixed, it is still out of gas and the girls split up. Jessie ends up in a barn where she has sex with the guard. Then her boyfriend shows up and it turns out that he was the bandit all along and after threatening everyone he is arrested by the warden.

Hmmm, seems like there was a lot of sex in this one. Wait a minute, Jassie? Nicole Sheridan? VooDoo? Evan Stone? Bikini Chain Gang is pretty much wall to wall pornstars with some pretty solid B movie actors filling in the gaps. The story line is the standard innocent girl gets sent to prison plot. Jay Richardson (Bad Girls from Mars) plays his ditzy guy with a good heart who tends to do the right thing in the long run. Beverly Lynn (Holy Terror) plays Jessie in an appropriately light hearted way. No matter what happens, Jessie just gets a slightly disappointed look on her face. Sexually assaulted by her boss, pouty face. A bandit puts a gun to your head, heavy sigh. Sentenced to prison, frowny face. Beverly is a half way decent actress and clearly is not playing the part with any weight. This is not a movie requiring method acting. Reality is not going to be raising it's ugly head any time soon.

I know what your thinking, who is the director of this epic? Peckingpah? Ford? Ray? If you picked Fred Olen Ray (Evil Spawn, Evil Toons), you got it right. I doubt anyone has more movie credits with the word Bikini in them than Fred; he has 14 of them to his name. To date, I have only seen five or six of them including this one. Fred seems to be out producing my ability to watch bikini movies three to one. Fred really has the formula down. It looks like he signs up these actors for two or three pictures and then rents the location for a couple of weeks and shots the movies back to back. It is a very economical way to make movies and it is not like the plot of Fred's movies really need those special unique settings. Let's see, in Bikini Chain Gang members of the cast had sex in a locker room, the warden's office, the back of a van and in a barn. Not bad, he didn't even have to furnish a bedroom and I'll bet the van was the one they used to get the film equipment on site.

If you watch the blooper reel you can see how much fun Fred has when he makes these movies. You are not going to look at anything in the movie and wonder what the director was thinking. No looking at his use of color and wondering what it means. You can't even look at the bikinis and say "Ah, I believe the director was commenting on Brooke's conflicted feelings by putting her in a bikini with stripes" because you know damn well that Fred is too cheap to buy bikinis for his actresses. You know the girls were just told to bring along their own swimsuits. (Thankfully, Jay Richardson does not don a swimsuit.) When the actors have sex in this movie it is not because they are desperate to escape reality for a minute, it is not get back at a unfaithful spouse, it is not to show a hypocritical side of man. It is because sex is fun.

There is not a lot to say about this movie. It does not have a complex plot or any real conflict for the characters to struggle through. Really there is little more to this movie than an excuse to get some girls naked. If that is enough for you, you're in luck.

I compare and contrast this movie with Black Candles here.

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