Intensity	Stupidity:Nudity Ratio 5:1	Budget Small

After penning and directing his calling card movie, "The Return of the Secaucus Seven", John Sayles re-wrote a script for Roger Corman about a baby Alligator that gets flushed down a toilet and 12 years later returns to terrorize the city.

As the movie opens we are at an Alligator farm watching someone wrestle with an Alligator and lose. Not at all bothered by the bloodshed a young girl follows the advice of an old codger and picks out a cute baby Alligator for a pet. While normally an alligator is not going to have a long life as a pet, Dad attempts to shorten it considerably by flushing it down the toilet. We flash forward a bunch of years to David Madison (Robert Forster) buying a dog in a pet shop, seems like his last dog just disappeared. The pet shop owner is then seen driving his van, when he spots any stray dog, he stops and snatches it. The animals are brought to a research lab where a scientist complains that he needs more dogs right away for a big experiment. The pet shop owner then takes away the various dead dogs and dumps them in the sewer. Then he is eaten by a giant alligator. David turns out to be a homicide detective and is called to the water reclamation plant when a leg is found. The workers have also found a dog that almost matches the description of a lost puppy except it is significantly larger. David decides that there is something going on in the sewers and attempts to recruit a partner to check them out. None of the other cops want to team up with him except Jim Kelly (Perry Lang) aka Deputy Deadmeat. Needless to say, Deputy Deadmeat does not survive his trip through the sewers. Eventually the rest of the cops and media believe David's tale of a giant alligator The mayor brings in a big game hunter (Henry Silva) who flirts with a TV reporter (Angel Tompkins?) and then is promptly eaten. The alligator works its way uptown chowing down on the local citizenry until it crashes the wedding of the scientist whose discarded experiments caused its gigantic size and appetite. David and Marisa (Robin Riker) finally track down the gator and blow him to bits. Needless to say, the last scene involves a baby alligator ending up in the sewer.

There is no doubt that John Sayles is a talented writer. Two years earlier he had written "Piranha" for Roger Corman which should have been a just another Jaws rip off, but had some truly great scenes. Paul Bartel's demise in that movie is gut wrenching as he realizes that he had been wrong and sacrifices his life trying to save the people he endangered. His shift from a cardboard stereotype to an emotional human being strikes home as being a very real reaction. However, Alligator's characters' start out as cardboard and never acquire three dimensions. Once Sayles decided to go down cliche highway, adding any pathos or depth to his characters would have detracted from the fun. Trying to list every cliche he drops would be a very time consuming effort. Hitting on the major ones we have the "cop with the past", the "new partner dying", the "corrupt mayor", the "uncaring scientist", the "sexy good scientist", the "relationship that gets off to a rocky start", the "gruff captain", the "bad dream sequence", and it goes on and on. By all rights, this should have been a terrible movie, but Sayles pulls it together beautifully. It achieves its goal of being an entertaining movie while being groaningly funny if you pay attention. Similar movies would wink and nod at the audience with each little joke or cliche, but Sayles plays this very straight and keeps the pace of the movie (and the jokes) fast and furious. You barely have time to roll your eyes when we are off chasing another silly set piece.

In the commentary John talks about how the gator starts in the low rent area which is down by the sewers and works its way up to the upper class mansions mentioning how this reflects how some dangers move from poor areas to rich ones. Though in this case once the gator gets to the mansion it munches on the help. He also mentions that he had to re-write the ending several times because the could not damage the big gator model because it had been sold ( possibly the Florida Gators) so the actual full size gator could not be destroyed.

There is one scene where I believe John is riffing on Woody Allen's "Annie Hall". After getting fired by a corrupt mayor because he was accusing a rich businessman of doing evil things (yikes, another cliche), Marisa and David get ready to go out to dinner. Before they leave David asks her if she is intending to come back and spend the night because not knowing will upset his digestion at dinner. Marisa responds by kissing him. In "Annie Hall" when Woody and Diane are going to dinner for the first time, they have a similar conversation though it is much more urban and talky. I can't imagine that John did not see the movie and that he did not parody this scene.

Roger Corman must have hated losing Sayles. In very short order he wrote three scripts for him ("Piranha" and "Battle beyond the Stars" and "Lady In Red" for his brother), There is a reason that Roger Corman is held in high regard by so many movie people, the man could recognize talent and gave many actors, writers and directors their start. Often Corman would give them a miniscule budget, some advice and turn them loose. Many of Corman's movies were cookie cutter B movies, but every now and then there were sparks of brilliance. I don't know if John likes his script for "The Return of the Secaucus Seven" better than Alligator, but Alligator is probably better known.

It is certainly worth the effort to dig up a copy of this film, it is a great example of what a talented writer can do for a film. Sayles and the director both take the movie seriously and they trust their audience to get the joke. It is entirely possible to watch this movie without giggling as each new cliche is heaped on. The pacing is good, the acting is solid enough and the movie takes itself seriously enough that you can watch it at face value and enjoy it as a B monster movie. But there is more than one way to tell a joke. Here Sayles tells an elaborate joke with a perfectly straight face which just makes it funnier.

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